about a cub

I’ve never been good at anonymity. Even trying to spell it out slows me down a little. But in my world, not protecting your identity leaves you open to merciless scrutiny and even persecution. In my world, you could find yourself sitting at one end of a very long, very polished timber conference table while five high-powered knobs vomit hostility down onto you from across the other side.

This exact thing has happened to me because of my online persona. I’m not about being told what to do, but more than that – I’m a blogger. It’s who I am.

I guess this attitude may stem from being gay, and openly proud of myself. Not because I’m gay, but because I am who I am, and I’m finally secure enough to love myself for it. That’s what I’m proud of. So being told what to do like a small child…uh uh.

I’m sure someone out there was totally intrigued by the phrase ‘in my world’ and was completely incensed when I didn’t elaborate further. I am a doctor, and despite what some people belive, we are still expected to be non-human and utterly perfect. I can tell you – we are as imperfect as you. Often even moreso.

Apparently my sexuality, my lifestyle of hedonism (read: rare ethanol consumption as evidenced once every 36 months via Facebook photos), and my cavalier attitude towards being a doctor and everything that comes with it was not suitable for the internet. At least not with my name and face attached to it.

Let me clarify this last point: I respect my job as a doctor and the medical profession. Do I revere myself and my job? No. I’m just a man with a job, and I truly believe that.

I’m basically a kid inside. But my life exposes me to some of the harder things to deal with. Life and death. Discrimination and disadvantage. Success and failure. I know I’m not alone in this – your experiences are just as real, just as hard, and just as valid as mine. Because of this, I’ll always be happy to hear your stories as I share my own.

I’m a cub. A little husky, a little furry, and always cuddly. I’ve made the decision to reject the internalized homophobia and embrace my identity and all the other identities within the gay community. In any community, really. I’m learning to love and respect people just for being who they are. Good and bad.

This blog is really about us. You and me, connecting, sharing and spreading the love (shall we all join hands and sing or slowly wave our lighters above our heads?).

Welcome to the cub house.

DoctorCub.

2 thoughts on “about a cub

  1. I now know a lot of gay doctors and nurses, but I still prefer to put blind faith in the medical profession most of the time – I think I’d get too paranoid otherwise when I need to entrust my care to someone else.

    I accept that doctors are human and aren’t perfect, though, and I’m self-aware to know when I think my needs aren’t being listened to.

    I think it’s a shame that you feel you have to hide your identity, though, but if you’re able to share more about yourself and your experiences that way, then all the better.

  2. Hi Christopher,

    Firstly, I apologise for leaving you hanging. I had some major troubles remembering my login details which was made worse by the fact that I had created a whole new email account with the same login details for the purposes of this blog!

    At any rate, I think it’s simply a case of once-bitten-twice-shy with me in that I have been flagged for comments out in the www. This is why, for now, I choose anonymity.

    Thanks for reading, hopefully now that I can remember my login details I’ll be around a lot more!

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