What’s in a Name?

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What is a bear?

Do a quick Internet search and you’ll find a number of definitions. Which one is right? Ais there a definition? Should there even be one?

Wikipedia will tell you that a bear is a heavyset man with body hair who projects an image of rugged masculinity in his grooming. Is that it; is it as simple as a particular body type?

Richard Bulger coined the term ‘bear’ in the 80s with the advent of Bear magazine, a publication dedicated to the men who didn’t fit the previously ubiquitous bill of the gay man – thin, smooth, and young.

This must have been a great time for all those husky and furry men out there who didn’t want to subscribe to being outcast by the larger gay community.

But the bear community was – and is – about more than just a preference for beefy, hairy men. The original bear movement was a haven for men who felt different to their heterosexual counterparts only in sexual preference. Up until this point, there was no formalised way for ‘outcast’ to meet ‘outcast’. The bear of the past was tall, short, fat, stocky, muscular, hairy, thin and hairy – whatever. The unifying feature of a bear was that he felt different to other gay men – he was masculine, and grass-roots humble.

In a lot of ways, this is still true today. There is more disparity in the community – muscle bears versus chubs? – but by and large it is still a culture of acceptance and love. The love of fur and masculinity.

To me, a bear doesn’t have to be a particular shape, though I’m completely turned on by the thicker men, both muscular and otherwise. What means more to me is the masculinity – not forced and contrived, but genuine. A bear is kind and accepting, but rugged. He’s a real man, and he doesn’t need to prove how ‘manly’ he is.

What’s a bear to you?

Cub. Xo.

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Original site for this image.

It’s seriously poor form for me to start up this blog and then just abandon it, I know.  I was cruising through the interweb the other day, trying to find other gay blogs written by bears or cubs, and I don’t know if my web searching skills are just really rubbish, but I turned up pretty much nothing.  I did find one blogger who’d started his about five years ago, and hadn’t progressed past his first entry, so I don’t feel so bad. 

I did come across one blogger, however, that had an interesting premise to his blog – that he’s rubbish at ‘being gay’.  Obivously this is ridiculous, because we’re all brilliant at being gay for the simple reasons that we are gay, and that there is no definition of what a gay man should be.  But his blog is fucking hilarious – Thoughts from a Crap Gay Man.  Check it out, but don’t fall too in love with it.

 So anyway, the reason why I’ve not been around for a while is that I’ve been getting evaluated and I needed to smash some study in order to present myself as at least a half-competent doctor.  I remember exams and the trauma they used to bring with them.  I rejoice in not having to do them again.  For a while, at least.

In any case, I’m back.  I’m ready to write, but I’m feeling a little unfocussed.  I don’t have a story.  Though give me a bit of time and I’m sure, like Chelsea Handler, I can make something up involving a midget and Ketel One vodka.

I love you all, stay beautiful.

Cub. xo

End Hibernation

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Despite the title of the post, this is all about beginnings.

I’ve had several blogs over the years, but most of them were a carried over from one failed hosting site to another.  As a result, I always failed to ‘christen’ the new blog with a dedicated post, not unlike the editorials at the beginning of a magazine that nobody reads anyway.

It’s time for a change.  With the way I deal with blogs -yes, but also in how I deal with life.  While I’m closing my identity to my reader(s) for the first time, I’m starting to open my heart up to people in the real world.  For a long time, I’ve felt like a happy and optimistic person trapped in the body of a complainer.  Nobody likes a whinger.  Nobody likes self-deprication.  I’m trying to smash that shell away from who I know I really am.

For you, who I really am is going to be somewhat of a puzzle.  Not because I like to think of myself as convoluted and contradictory, but because I can’t divulge the information to you that I think helps you as a reader to achieve a relative level of familiarity with me.  The challenge for me – and it’s daunting – is to give you enough of my personality for you to connect, while not giving too much of my identity away.

What I can tell you is this…

I’m young.  I’m gay.  I’m a cub.  I’m creative.  I’m a doctor.

Stick around.  Let’s chat.

Cub.